Why Looking Spiritual Isn’t the Same as Living It
A reminder that spirituality is about how you live, not how you look
When Wellness Becomes a Costume
For a long time, I thought being into wellness meant someone was open-minded. If they saged their home, talked about chakras, drank green juice, or could name their big three in astrology, I assumed we’d be aligned. I thought we spoke the same language: one of growth, curiosity, and compassion.
But the more I’ve moved through this space, the more I realized how surface-level that assumption really was. Some of the most outwardly “spiritual” people I’ve met have also been the most close-minded. They know the language. They wear the crystals. But when it comes to listening to someone who sees things differently, or owning when they were wrong, or holding space without getting defensive... that’s where the performance ends.
I say this as someone who used to believe the aesthetic was the practice. I assumed if someone did yoga or talked about energy, they must be emotionally intelligent or self-aware. But now I pay more attention to how someone moves through the world — how they treat people, how they handle conflict, how they respond when something uncomfortable comes up. That’s where you really see someone.
It’s easy to look spiritual. It’s a lot harder to live it.
That truth has become even more clear through recent conversations with people I once saw as deeply open. People who, when faced with different perspectives, chose to shut them down instead of getting curious. That’s not clarity. That’s not alignment. That’s fear pretending to be confidence.
I’ve fallen into it too. Saying the right things, sharing the highlight moments, thinking that was enough. Especially in the corporate space, where wellness language is often used as branding, it’s easy to confuse polished messaging with actual embodiment. But over time, I’ve learned to feel the difference between someone who performs growth and someone who lives it.
I’ve also seen this show up in the psychedelic space. I’ve met people who’ve done ayahuasca or mushrooms and come back saying they’ve “seen the truth.” I don’t doubt that they’ve had powerful, real experiences. But here’s the honest part: you’re not spiritual just because you had the experience. You’re spiritual because of what you do with it.
Integration is the work.
It’s easy to feel connected to everything in a ceremony. But what about when you come back to real life and something triggers you? When a relationship stretches you? When your nervous system is overwhelmed and the tools don’t feel trendy anymore?
That’s where the path really begins.
Everyone’s journey is valid. I’m not here to shame anyone for where they are. But I’ve seen a lot of people chase peak experiences without doing the slower, quieter work of integrating them. It becomes more about staying high than staying present.
And honestly, after a big spiritual experience, especially with psychedelics, your soul might feel activated, but your body might need time to catch up. That’s part of it. The integration window is sacred. Your nervous system needs to recalibrate. Your patterns need space to shift. That slower season matters, even if it’s not exciting to talk about.
These days, the people I feel most connected to aren’t always the ones using spiritual language or posting about their rituals. They’re the ones who actually embody what they believe. There are a lot of people in the wellness and spiritual space who preach mindfulness, compassion, boundaries, alignment... but don’t practice it when life gets real.
And honestly, I think intention matters just as much as embodiment. What’s underneath the post? What’s fueling the message? Where is it coming from? Someone might not have every piece integrated yet, but if their intention is honest and grounded, that carries weight. I care less about how polished someone sounds and more about whether it feels true.
Authenticity doesn’t always look perfect. But you can feel when it’s real.
That’s something I’m constantly checking in on within myself too. It’s one thing to know the tools. It’s another to actually use them when things get uncomfortable. That’s why I’ve become really intentional about the kind of people I spend time around. I want to be surrounded by people who don’t just say it. They live it. The ones who show up in human, imperfect ways and still choose truth over performance.
I also want to be around people who feel good to be around. People who are kind and supportive, but also honest enough to hold up a mirror when I need one. None of us are perfect. But if someone is trying, if they’re showing up with effort and self-awareness, I want to build with them. I want to grow beside people who make me feel safe enough to grow too.
It matters how you feel around someone. Because truthfully, you’re shaped by the people you spend the most time with.
That top five rule? It’s real. You naturally begin to take on the energy, habits, and emotional tone of the people in your space. So if I’m surrounded by people who are grounded, clear, open-hearted, and willing to grow, that’s the version of me I get to reinforce too.
We’re all learning. We’re all evolving. But the longer I walk this path, the more I care about action over image. Practice over performance. Integration over identity.
You don’t need to be loud about your beliefs to be grounded in them.
You don’t need to post your healing to prove it’s happening.
You don’t need to perform your growth for it to be valid.
The real work is how you show up.
How you treat people.
How you embody what you say you believe.
Not the vibe you curate.
Not the words you use.
Not the crystals on your altar.
Because true spirituality lives in your actions.
Not your aesthetic.
I used to think being spiritual meant I had to wear flowy clothes, adopt the boho style, and post the right kind of quotes. But I’ve learned that spirituality isn’t about matching someone else's lifestyle or aesthetic. And honestly, I’ve come to believe that not fitting into a specific mold is actually a good thing. It means I’m walking my own path.
One of my best friends and I even signed up for a six-pack of aerial yoga classes. We were feeling spontaneous and figured we’d try one of those classes where you hang from the cloths. It sounded like a fun idea at the time, but we never actually made it to a single class. Definitely not our most thought-out decision and probably not the best way to spend your money either. Maybe that was the hint we needed all along. Lesson learned, lol.
My version of connection looks different. It’s going on walks by the mountains. Sitting in the sun. Spending time with my rescue pup. Cooking something nourishing. Or just having a quiet morning without my phone. That’s what brings me home to myself.
And just to be clear, I’m not criticizing the yoga community as a whole. I actually love how it’s becoming more inclusive and accessible. I think that’s important. These tools should be available to everyone. But some spaces still carry an energy of exclusivity, and in my opinion, healing and movement should always feel welcoming. Not something you have to earn or fit into.
That’s what I want for the Bloom Collective.
A space where spirituality is allowed to resonate with or without the label.
Where you can just be who you are without needing to prove anything.
To be honest, there are still moments I don’t even want to call myself “spiritual” because I still feel activated by some of my own past experiences in those spaces. I’ve had to unlearn a lot. So now, I just consider myself Jess. A person who’s into energy, healing, nature, intuition, learning, creating, and living in a way that feels aligned.
Just a human doing her best.
Someone who may mess up sometimes and isn’t perfect — but that’s the human experience.
And honestly, I think that’s the point of spirituality.
Not to become someone else.
Not to perform or perfect anything.
But to come home to yourself.
Let’s Stay Connected ✨
New posts go live every Thursday at 6 PM MST.
Energy has a way of showing us what we need. If this opened something for you, explore what’s next below.
With love and alignment,
Jess 🌿
Reiki Healer, Akashic Records Guide, and Founder of Vibrational Bloom
🌀 The Bloom Collective | 🌐 vibrationalbloom.com | 📱 @vibrationalbloom |
🛍 Vibrational Bloom Shop on Etsy
Explore more at Vibrational Bloom ↓
